


Standards

by knowyourincantations



Series: Sapphic September 2018 [4]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Drinking, Drinking Games, Drunkenness, F/F, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Hogwarts Eighth Year, Party Games, Sapphic September, Sapphic September 2018, Truth or Dare
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-04
Updated: 2018-09-04
Packaged: 2019-07-06 19:32:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15892644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/knowyourincantations/pseuds/knowyourincantations
Summary: It may be truth or dare with a penalty for dodging dares, but Pansy still has standards.





	Standards

**Author's Note:**

> For Sapphic September Day 4: ~~Pirate!AU~~ or **“Look, I might be evil but even I have standards.”**

“Look, I might be evil but even I have standards,” Pansy said dramatically, one hand to her chest.

There was a brief silence, and then laughter. Pansy’s expression settled into a scowl, one that faltered when Harry fell off the sofa and spilled his drink on himself.

“Pansy! Pansy, Pansy, Pansy!”

Pansy fixed Draco with a glare. “What?” she snapped.

“You’re not evil! You rescued a bird from Mrs Norris yesterday,” he crowed.

Blaise nodded, gesturing drunkenly at her. “And you’ve been sending Millicent anonymous Valentines since second year ‘cause she got so sad after getting nothing in first year!”

“Oh, that’s just sickening,” Ron snorted. “You softie!”

“Piss off, the lot of you,” Pansy hissed, folding her arms and sinking more deeply into her armchair.

“Hey, no, you have to do your dare!” Draco insisted, reaching up with his foot and kicking her legs. He still hadn’t noticed he was lying in the wet patch on the carpet from Neville’s spilled drink, or she was sure he would thrown up from the horror.

“I already said, even I have standards and I am not snogging Potter,” she said, turning up her nose. Harry had snogged Ron earlier on a dare, and she was _not_ second-hand snogging Ron Weasley.

“You can’t refuse a dare, you’ll have to go starkers!” Greg pointed out, startling everyone. They thought he’d fallen asleep a while ago, his head pillowed on Hannah’s lap. Hannah made a vague sound of assent, still focused on playing with his newly-violet hair.

“Nothing wrong with being starkers,” Blaise countered, giving the cushion on his lap a little pat.

“Zabini, if you know what’s good for you, you will keep that cushion where it is,” Ron threatened.

Pansy relaxed into her chair. They were so easy to distract. They kept bickering until Blaise threw his modesty cushion at Ron and they started wrestling on the floor, almost crushing Draco and Harry. She couldn’t wait until Ron accidentally touched Blaise’s cock. She had no doubt he’d make a glorious sound.

“Pick a different person, Hermione,” Harry said, after getting away from Ron and Blaise and reclaiming his seat on the sofa.

“I doubt you could pick someone up to my standards,” Pansy sneered, flipping her hair and smirking at Hermione.

Hermione sipped her drink and frowned, just like she’d frowned for ages before picking Harry. “You know, you’re not as mysterious as you think, Pansy.”

Pansy snorted and waved a dismissive hand. “Bluff all you like, I’m not kissing anyone I wouldn’t date, and that’s a very, very short list.”

Draco managed to extricate himself from Blaise and Ron’s struggle, and laughed. “Good luck, Granger. She’s such a bloody snob.”

Pansy hissed and kicked him as he moved past her chair.

“Oh, I don’t need luck,” Hermione said, sipping her drink again before putting it down on the floor by her chair. She unfolded herself and stood, pointing at Pansy dramatically. “I have you figured out.”

Her dramatics would have been more impressive if she hadn’t listed to the side and almost fallen over.

“Go on then, I’m _dying_ to see you fail,” Pansy sneered.

Everyone turned to Hermione, even Ron and Blaise paused their scuffle.

Hermione grinned, and then put a hand on her chest. “I dare you to kiss _me_ , Pansy!”

There was a round of shocked gasps, which did nothing to drown out the pathetic sound Pansy made.

“Who told you?” she whined. She hadn’t told anyone, but she wouldn’t put it past Draco or Blaise to have figured it out. Rotten gossips.

Hermione grinned triumphantly. “Luna did, but once she did, it was so obvious! I should have picked myself from the start.”

“You don’t win if you cheated,” Pansy muttered, but she pulled herself from her chair. She didn’t particularly want to go starkers for the rest of the night. Nor did she want to pass up snogging Hermione. She’d only been fantasising about it for months. And she refused to be embarrassed about it. Anyone with a working brain would be attracted to Hermione.

“Oh, I think I win anyway,” Hermione said, grabbing her as soon as she was close enough and kissing her first.

**End.**


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